Authentic Sisterhood

Being Yourself During Sorority Rush

Photo by HendersonStateU / CC BY-NC 2.0

Sorority rush is an extremely fun and exciting process, but it can also be very nerve-wracking. The process, created to help girls find social support and connection with others at their university, can also contribute to the pressure to conform. By joining the “sisterhood,” girls are able to find their best friends who are just like them as well as participate in social and philanthropic events. However, sorority rush can also create a pressure to conform to a certain stereotype and cause girls to change themselves to what they think a “top” sorority would want to see. The rush process itself is designed to help potential new members (PNMs) to find their “perfect match” based on similar interests, goals and values. By finding the “perfect match” girls are supposedly able to foster strong and close connections with girls who are exactly like them, enhancing their college experience. Some girls, through their anxiety and pressure to fit into the “top”sorority, will attempt to change themselves to fit the interests of that sorority. Although the pressure to conform has always been present, it is becoming increasingly worse especially with the effects of social media. Acting and being a certain way in order to be accepted into a “top” sorority is both stressful and inauthentic. While there are some necessary qualities for a sorority girl to have, drastically changing yourself to attempt to fit into a certain sorority is not beneficial to anyone.

In order to find the type of girl they are looking for, each sorority has a process to navigate them to their ideal girls. There are many factors that sororities look at including, personality, academics, leadership, recommendations, appearance and overall compatibility. Sometimes it can be harsh and critical, but ultimately the process works the way it is supposed to and each girl is supposed to end up where they are meant to be with girls they will thrive with. However, now more than ever, there are easy ways to gain unfair advantages. Connections with current members have become even more important, leading girls to feel pressured to get connected before rush even begins. Especially with social media, it has become increasingly easier to connect with sorority members and be invited to “dirty rush” events. “Dirty rush” is a violation of the recruitment guidelines set by the National Panhellenic Conference (NPC). Dirty rush includes pre-recruitment contact, bid promises and offering gifts or incentives. All of these activities create an unfair advantage and mess up the rush process. Dirty rush places pressures on both PNMs as well as current members of the sorority. There is nothing wrong with PNMs connecting with girls in different sororities, especially if they knew them previously. However, using connections and “dirty rush” to your advantages goes against the principles of rush.

There is a lot of discussion about how to act and be during rush in order to fit into a certain sorority. Due to this, a “Rush Coach” now exists to help PNMs with what to wear, say and do during the process. These coaches are well-educated on the process and will provide valuable information on how to successfully get through. To an extent, this can be a positive thing. It is not a bad idea to have a support system to help you through rush, however, Rush Coaches should not be telling PNMs how to act in order to “get into the top sorority.” It is true that sororities are looking for members that will positively contribute to their sisterhood and share similar interests. Unfortunately, sometimes this means that not every girl will be accepted into her top choices or in some cases they will be eliminated. Although it can be stressful, especially during the rush process, it is important to continue to be yourself. Sororities know exactly what they are looking for and each PNM will end up exactly where they belong. By staying authentic, you will ultimately increase your chances of finding the sorority that aligns with your values, interests and personality.

Overall, the entire rush process should emphasize friendship and genuine connection rather than conformity and stress. If both sorority members and PNMs adhere to the rules, rush will be a positive, enjoyable and inclusive experience for all those involved. Although many girls want to be accepted into a “top” sorority, it is important to prioritize authenticity. Being your genuine self and building meaningful friendships is significantly more important than being in a “top” sorority. By finding your “sisters” you will be ensured to have an enhanced college experience and create lifelong friendships.